Was it wrong to think that this was the easy way out? Cause, in reality, it really was. He would go back get the beating and not think – or try to – about making it to the mountains like he said so dreamy to Djinn. It probably seemed like a silly thing to dream up but it was a big enough scenery change to satisfy the feline. However, of course, his Fae had to ruin said easy leave it be. Instead, the man was plowing through the four men like a hot knife through butter. As the man who held him got nervous, he twisted his arm in and around his back which caused him to wince but not cry out. Instead, his eyes watched his companion flawlessly take care of the workload like gravity didn’t exist. He was in awe by it, truthfully.

Much like the other men though, the one who held him was gone right along with his fellow comrades but before Killian could say a word he was yanked. Obediently he followed after the harsh tugging. He said nothing moving light on his feet after the fae until he was shoved and let go met with a rather grumpy man in his wake. He found it funny that most people didn’t think he had a backbone. That his obedient nature merely meant he was fearful… scared…. But what they didn’t realize it was intelligence. He knew what happened when one was rebellious just look at his dearest companion, Lucia. She was lost, thrown in a ditch somewhere. Besides that, if he was ever so obedient when he did do something his punishments were not nearly as severe as continuous offenders. The man keenly played his cards and picked fights where he knew he would be the one coming out on top. He didn’t need to boast about some hidden darkness he had deep seeded in him nor did he need to let others know it even existed because come a day…. They would really figure out just what kind of wild animal he really had.

His brow arched as he spoke of Killian giving himself up as a sacrifice and then once more protection. He wanted to laugh more out of frustration at being treated like he was a fragile woman. Did he not know what he has dealt with? Did he not know what it was like to become used to a life with pain? Taunting? To do things he didn’t want to but only because he was made to? Did he realize he didn’t have a soul… freedom…. So what was there to protect from when he had it done multiple times? ”It wasn’t a sacrifice, Djinn.” he said though his voice didn’t betray the coldness he honestly felt. Instead, it was even-keeled like he always was. So even and so serene. ”I did it because it was the intelligent thing to do. Despite what you may think those bastards won’t stop with just those four… or the next six…. Or the ten after that. They will keep coming and it all adds up to me getting caught anyways. Why raise myself in this falsehood of hope of freedom when I have none?” He tipped his head for a moment as he continued to watch him. He had never seen his fairy so in over his head, he was usually so jesting and sarcastic but something was wrong--- something…. Changed. ”You aren’t always going to be there to stop them. You can’t. It is physically impossible. If I expect to survive I have to play by the rules… their rules until I or someone else can break them from the inside out.”

Moving from the tree feeling his back tingle with sensations of pain he glanced over his shoulder for a moment. He didn’t want to go back. He wanted to stay here with Djinn. He wanted to see those mountains. ”and for the record, I don’t see you as crippled. I never have.” he said finally moving his gaze back towards him. ”I have always seen you as just Djinn.” He rubbed lightly at his wrist that had been harshly grabbed as he stood there pondering for a moment. It was a rather irritating question that kept coming to mind through this whole thing. How Djinn swore to have his back, to let him seek out freedom, to of course get so worked up he was seething with uncontrollable anger that was fueled with some kind of emotion. He didn’t understand. Maybe it was best he shouldn’t but the question came out anyways.

”Why does it matter to you….” there was more to that question but he cut it off. His lips thinning out as he let his hand drop back to his side. He wasn’t trying to anger him but he knew well he probably wasn’t making it better. There was nothing he could do about it though as it was obviously something Djinn had to work out for himself. He wanted to. He wanted to reach out to him and help slow that rapid heartbeat he could nearly hear thrumming in his chest. The quickening of his breath as he puffed it out of his nostrils… he, however, stood his ground not moving forward or backward just stood there with an unfinished question lingering in between them.

He knew his way of survival was very different than his counterparts but this was also because they grew up in two different worlds. Djinn grew up in a world where he fought for his right to survive and for others to survive. Steal from the rich, give to the poor, create an equal balance. Whereas Killian didn’t grow up in a world like that. The panther had grown up in a world that beat defiance out of a subject. If you had an opinion it was best kept to yourself. If you broke rules you were severely punished or worse put to death. Neither world was easy. Both had their issues and both created the two men that stood in front of one another. ”BUT you don’t understand!..” emotion seeped in. It was accidental but it was there and almost immediately, he shut down. He turned his head away almost like he was expecting immediate retaliation for opening his mouth. Hazel eyes remained peering over his right shoulder but towards the ground, waiting, controlling. No less, Djinn made up for the sound that was left silent between them, telling him that he would do it if Killian would just let him.

”Getting hurt over me is stupid.” He said though his voice was tiny almost inaudible. Above nothing but a whisper. ”I just don’t understand..” He didn’t understand why Djinn would even want to. ”What makes me so suitable to be above everyone else that you could be helping.”

Why him.

What made him special above someone like Lucia or Larkin? Why was he more important than them? If anything they had more to live for right? No one would miss him if he were gone. No one would probably even notice so why does he deserve a chance when there were others who were far more deserving than he was?

Djinn’s next set of words made him frown a little bit look back towards him after a few more moments. Was that supposed to be an insult? Or a compliment? He watched as the man stood there for quite awhile in silence as if he was contemplating something. Killian didn’t make any move forward or back but stood there patiently waiting for him to formulate whatever was on his mind into words. He shook his head no at the question and listened as he began to tell the story he had waited to hear in all this time since knowing Djinn. He knew there was a story there, he also knew that Djinn was the way he was because of a reason. Like all of them, their past tended to shape the person who they are into today. His expression didn’t change all that much as he continued to listen until the last part when he said he didn’t want to watch him take his wings. That struck the panther a bit and his head once more dropped to peer down at the other man’s feet rather than his face. At his last set of words, a soft but genuine smile spread upon his lips but it quickly faded. ”Only good for a good time, huh.” It was a joke but part of it felt like the truth. That’s what he was used for right? From just about everyone, Djinn included?

He gave his head a small shake before dropping his shoulders from their tensed position. ”Okay.” Though he knew inevitably he would end up back in Cendra like always. Djinn couldn’t be with him all the time. Come a day he would be back but he kept that comment to himself. Lifting his hand he running it through his hair, he rubbed his the top of his head. Hazel eyes lifted again. ”Sooo we can stop pissing and moaning now and feel better about ourselves?” his expression lightened a little, taking a few short steps to stand in front of the leaning man against the tree. He wasn’t sure what it was or why but he was drawn to him…. Even if he was an asshole but hey most of the hot ones were.